what could potentaily kill you makes you stronger….

September 29, 2007

I’m going to break the weekend fun rule………..

Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 11:56 pm

This once as I see it fit that I do so! I missed two whole days of updateing due to a sleepover one night and than the next. First off I’l tell you all how my week was BGL wise…..

Since my meter is still out of order permently and I don’t have a new one yet I don’t know my averages all I know is I rahn low every night except the last three nights. I did test once on faulty meter and it told me 1.0 but it reads wrong so thats just an aprox. of what it was!

I got a brand new laptop though on wednesday so that is one highlight of the week. Toshiba satelite running on windows vista it’s pretty sweet and I like it a lot so far!

Thursday Ashers and Ekka came over for a girls night and man of man did we go whild! We slept out in our camper trailer which is decked out just like a house airconditioning and all! We played Dance Dance Revelution which I am now so adicted to it’s not even funny! I ate three pieces of pizza and lived although I did have to excersize and control after like insane!

we ended up making a couple phone calls and um well some of our friends are still laughing like insane idiots right now! Ashers brain is insanely naughty and brill at the same time! latter one we dressed me up as a punk crossed with a hooker it was hillarious!Mini skirt,fish nett leggings,tank top and japenese school girl shoes! The black make up looked good on me but it was so hard to get off! Ekka also put on the same outfit and somehow our black loveing unprepish ashers wiggled her way out of putting on my nerd prepy cloths!

We where using the webcam on my laptop to take some pics and apparently was recoding our audio and video convo the whole time without us knowing! Nearly peed myself laughing wacthing it! I ended up sleeping with Ashers in the bed fully clothed I might add for those of you who I know will twist that around! Since I am trying to keep this blog g rated I won’t discuss how we turned a simple insilin pump into something hilarious don’t worry no pumps where harmed in this at all we where just dicussing the pump and it’s benefits and some where inbetween one of use (ashers) thought I was talking about something else.

it was near 1 am before we got to sleep though on a school night! we had to get up at 6 am in the morning!

After that we went to school and I reliese that I forgot my meter and I was going to Ekka’s house after school for her birthday party on saterday as it was so far away I was sleeping over. She has 5 brothers and sisters (6 counting her) than two of her cousins live with her and her mom and dad.

This is where my weekend gets butt ugly for me. I have never felt so out of place,unwanted and unsecure in my whole intire being about my hypoglycemia. I was just starting to get most of my confidence back that I lost 5 months ago to this diesease and things had to go wrong!

I brought all my own meals and all my own snacks as I didn’t expect them to try and feed me what so ever and I brought my own water and a can of juice to last friday and saterday. I explained everything to her parents as best as I could have possibley done. So it was fine and I was lucky I did bring my own food because lunch was hotdogs big calorie and carb no no! Than super was at 7 pm at night o_O I proly would have died had I not brought my own meals.

Somehow her parents ended up with an impression that there was almost nothing I could met hence the waste of trying to explain anything to anyone at all. I said I had a certain number of calories I could eat and I brought my own meals to keep with that count.

So things where fine I played DDR with Ekka and Sare for hours on end and just hung out and stuff. Than around 10 pm or something .Than things got ugly but I’l have to type what happened latter to tired right now 😦 Zzzzzzzzzz


September 27, 2007

I need a bigger piece of that humble pie!

Filed under: Uncategorized — closedembrace @ 9:16 am

Ive failed miserably without my meter…..Sigh only a couple of mre days without one to so I can’t fully enjoy this freedom for the whole 2 weeks.

I don’t think before I eat!It’s not second nature yet but it’s soon gonna have to be! I’m so stupid when it comes to making choices of when I need to eat! Not so much the what to eat but more so the when!

I’m back to rotateing my meals so a night meal is included in the middle of the night. NO morning hypos for me!

On the plus side this means I don’t have to move the dresser I keep falling into in the mornings when I’m low…..

Also means I won’t keep tumbleing down the stairs as well……

I now start my days at 5 am eat,run and than eat again.

I feel afficxiated with myself right now and I hate this feeling…..

Could use some humble pie to bring me to my knees……

That is life,


September 24, 2007

Why does it feel so wrong….

Filed under: Uncategorized — closedembrace @ 9:02 pm

I messed up 😦

I didn’t mean to but I did.

I used 100 strips that was sposed to last me more than three weeks!In my defense I didn’t know I had a set of 100’s I thought i had a set of 40 like I always do……

Any way my mom is super mad about my use of strips…..

On another note I have NO more machine what so ever I won’t be able to get another intill the week after this one.

I hope they take cash cuz my blue cross is all used up I have to buy my own machine….

I’l warn you never ever buy a Aboot metter FreeStyle’s suck so bad….

My machine is from a bacth with some major error……

I’m switching to the Aviva systems but instead of argueing with my mom about it all I’m just going out and doing it all myself….

I don’t think I need a priscription to get a meter….I’m not sure my mom bought my last one and I hope to god they take Cash because I just want to buy it can get it all done and over with so I can move on with life having peace of mind that my BGL’s are okay!

But why does it feel so good to be free of my meter….Why do I feel like decideing not to get a new one?

September 22, 2007

Ready.Set.Weekend fun begins!

Filed under: Weekend Funstuff — closedembrace @ 1:25 pm

My Horoscope for today/the week:

Look up and enjoy the world around you, dear Cancer. You’re often so caught up in the details that you forget to examine the big picture. So often you have your head to the floor looking for the dirt in your house that you fail to see the smiling faces of the people around you who love you. Take this day to have fun and put aside your small worries. Concentrate more on the whole room.

September 21, 2007

Sugar Hangover!UGH what the hell happened!

Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 7:43 pm

What happened last night? I feel like a fifty ton load of bricks smashed into my whole body.

Well I’l tell you what happened!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well Last night my gram guilted me into eatting foods I knew better. I Made the choice to eat them yet she had a BIG part in it all.

My sugar shot up to 20.1 and I was up to near 1 am when it droppsed to a 1.9 man of man I felt SO sick today and SO tired.

WE had practicum today in Child Studies so I had to pretend to be all roses and sunshine with the little girl I do my hour of Child studing in. UGH!

At recess I sat down and I certainly layed into my gram about it all. I felt bad about it and Ashers,Curt and Bud all got to hear it.

Oh and the english teacher who left closeing his door behind him.He’s the type 1 that I mentioned early.

He won’t even talk to me anymore I give up. No one wants to really help me. I mean my friends try SO hard.

Weeeeell anyway I’m like;

“It’s no use my gram is never going to get all this blood sugar stuff! I don’t even bother trying to explain it’s useless.I’m just gonna have to make my own lunches.She’ll take it hard but I can’t go on like this!”

Than Asher is like….
“Well how long has your dad been diabetic.I’m like since 1993 three weeks before my sister’s B-day. She doesn’t get that either!Sides my diet is way diff.”

it ended up with me in a angry fit.

I went to gym and talked with Dan about cars and hacthbacks! Almost smashed said english’s teachers hacthback’s window in with a Volley ball.

It really was an acident as I still really like my english teacher even if I feel ignored a little. I mean I should have never awesumed I could go to him if I needed to.

I feel so alone right now…

Tired sick and alone….

on to lunch period…..

I ate and than I ended up laying down in Asher’s lap the WHOLE time and I did fall asleep.

Than along comes this chick called Erin and  hear Ashley go “Don’t kick her!” . I didn’t know it was intill latter it was her.

Who the hell would do something like that! She’s such a fat pig.

well I think I’l end it off here before I start verbaly bashing people!

September 20, 2007

Semi sad yet it’s so true :-/

Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 10:38 pm

Qouteing http://hypoglykemie.nl/faq/hfaq05.htm#5.9


Eat. No, eat *healthily* ! And don’t eat sugar! A quick sugar boost probably gets you on road again soon, but will force your motor to stall a few hours afterwards (do not try this at home). The best thing to eat is a mix of slow carbohydrates and proteins. Nuts are ok, so is a whole grain sandwich with cheese and high-fiber vegetables. Milk and cottage cheese work well for a lot of people too.

“When your body tells you to slow down, you better listen. Sometimes you may be so exhausted, confused, indecisive or weak that you aren’t even able to look after yourself anymore and buy or prepare food, or too tired to even to eat or chew it. If there’s no-one around to force you to eat, try to get some food quickly or else sleep! You’ll probably notice that when you awake a few hours later, the hypo is gone and it’s time to start looking after yourself again.”

This entry is devoted to some qoutes and explainations so my friends and I can all be on the same page of understanding maybe!


No! Hypoglycemia can NOT be treated by eating sugar! Eating sugar only tells our body to produce more insulin, of which we produce too much already. Eating sugar will probably give you a short blood sugar high, but you will certainly end up with all the nasty symptoms for the next couple of hours, even days sometimes.”

I do treat my hypos like a Diabetic does but I eat protein and fat as soon as I can as I plument dangerously fast and HAVE to do something before I pass out/di!

It just felt important to add some facts to this page.

Love is a gift and sometimes it’s something more!

Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 8:03 pm

Love is thinking about someone else in need…

 Today a friend gave me a gift. Asher’s had been on board emotionally for me from the start and for that I’m thankful. She knows what I go through and has rode the emotional rollercoaster with me.

Sometimes when i’m having a bad day or upset she’ll stick her MP3 player in my ears while I test.

It always makes me feel better.

Well today I go into the libuary where we hang and I’d started out with a low that morning and messed over my diet so I was not very happyish.

She goes “Jess I burned you a CD!”

She sticks the headphones to her old CD player in my ears.

It’s filled with all the best music ever I’l list it latter.

Latter on she goes “You know Jess if you want you can keep the CD player!”

I was just about escatic off the chart! TO boot my BGL’s have leveled out since I fixed the calorie carb thing!

Anyway what she did for me by giving me her old CD player she’ll never know how much it means to me.

Curt he does so many things to make me smile as well.

Little things like that keep me going even though somedays I want to quit.

I love you all,


Happy,Happy,Ducky!Captain Jack!!!!!!

Filed under: Hypoglycemia, Weekend Funstuff — closedembrace @ 4:54 pm

I am in such a HAPPY Moody!
My ashers made me a CD and I wub it and Her’s! *Pets her Ashers head*

Blood sugars doing okay…….

Gotta fix diet!

Short one for now cuz I’m at school!



September 19, 2007

If I throttle and kill you will you still love me?

Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 11:57 pm

Carbs godamit!If I throttle and Kill them will everyone still love me when I die?

If I throtle you will you still love me when your dead?

God dammit I’m not having a good time of anything right now.

I have a test tomorrow….

Have to fix diet……

everything sucks……..

Somebody better love me tomorrow!


Filed under: Hypoglycemia — closedembrace @ 12:32 am

I feel 150% me again!
If feel whole and my cup is running over. Despite BGL’s from beyond.

I thin excersize adversly affects me which scares me a lot because what happened today was not fun!

Today was the Four minute run today. So I checked my BGL and I got a 6.3 soooo I’m like well I’m fine lets get this puppy done and over with. After I ran checked again 6.4 I’m like meh not that bad whatever. Next was recess I didn’t test again because I had been fine.

I ate a few chrispers no sugar in them to speack of and I sit down to eat my lunch check before as always and it’s 8.0 I think hmmmmmmmm thats odd. I sit down eat NOTHING with any sugar in it at all and I test again I get a 15.1

I probably should probably learn how to take stuff like that better instead of having a panick attack.

Everyone who got how high that was where all like “HOLY POOPS”

and I was near tears. Test again three minutes latter I’m 9.5 and from then on a steady climb down. I shook SO bad it was horrid.

Things got better though I went to Curt’s house after school and had a crap load of fun.

We played Video games for awhile his parents weren’t home I was totally facenated with his cat “Crash” god that cat is so big and awesome.

Than we went for a walk. I’l have to upload some of the videos. LOL we went down onto the beach and I have no balence and here in NS the beaches are soooo rocky. We sat a lot and talked I geuss.

We where there for hours and guys there was no kissing or anything like that so don’t even ask when I get to school tomorrow.

Curt made me feel like me again. He made me feel so whole again not brokan and changed and lost.

His mom made my day to!Curt’s mom so totally rocks!

I met his grampa and I liked him a lot! Went to “Meet and Greet” my mom couldn’t come so Curt acted as my ‘parents’ for the evening.

Did I mention Curt fell on his bum on wet slimey rocks and his butt was all wet from it? Well he did and he’ll kill me for saying it but LOL it’s funny. I thought I’d be the one falling not him.

Anyways back to meet and greet. I was SO hyper! I even ate half a plain doughnut.

Than I went for a drink of water  from the fountin because I do not think Cofee was good for me. Than I asked the music teacher something and I got totally lost going the fountain for a drink. I

Than I went back and talked to the Bio teacher for next semester who is totally awesomeness.

I don’t have to disect anything! HAHAHAHA Curt you where wrong!

I kept buging Curt for a run because I felt so full of energy even though I’d like already walked half a beach.

Than I ended up running around the school by myself because Curt didn’t run.

Than I went home and I’l have to talk about that in the morning.

love yall,


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