So things are complicated I think…

Okay I appoligise for my abscenes but life likes to eat me up and spit me out occasionaly to update here.

Well how has life been this past week and a half stressfuly,tear filled and just plain bumpily.My frirends don’t know how stressed out,upset and lost ive felt or been. I just can’t let them know it would make me weak I geuss…. I don’t know anymore but I lost it again I just totally broke down.

I got in troble at school I yelled at a Substitute teacher.I am a good student I have never done anything like that before in my life…We had just wacthed a movie on child care and she’s like “Next movie is about nutrition so this ones more interesting” I totally totally lost it!
I told her “My life is already a nutritional nightmere!” and it escalated from there…Now that I look back on it I can laugh about because the poor sub had no idea WHAT I was ranting about…the look on her face was hilarious!

I also left www.diabetesdaily.com for a little bit because of that but Ernest set me straight I’m not allowd to leave DD again and I’m glad I went back!

10:25 PM ernestb: we are not perfect

10:25 PM ernestb: we all have our moments

10:25 PM ernestb: and i be dammmed if you dont come here and let us hear whats up

10:25 PM ernestb: even if its a assss chewing!

Thanks Ernie I needed to hear that that day 🙂 made me laugh a little.

Than there was the great meter debackle….

Oh my goodness…

2 out of 3 meters where being PITA’s its all fixed now the stress really brought me down firguritively and Literaly….

Now things are steady again so guys I just want you to know that even though my life gets complicated you guys make it all worth it

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Also I have a D-life series of art and other art at this site: http://faded-golden-ink.deviantart.com

next time I gotta talk about my boy and all the fun thinsg ive been really up to,

loves yall,

Jess(hypopony)

Updateness sorry my cat ate my laptop and my pony spit it out*falls asleep*

Okay Some I’m super busy school sucks!!!! I get out Decemeber 20th for break and plan to paste myself to www.diabetesdaily.com and I don’t plan on being cut and pasted off of it for any reason what so ever! Yes I am totally nuts lack of sleep and hours on the internet/looking at plane ticket prices/ploting between me and my Big sister (well adopted big sister) Kris http://www.diabetesdaily.com/forum/blogs/krisb0701/ !

Geuss I have to wait till I’m 18 meh thinks to truely enjoy my american diabete friend making experiance thats okay with me (: that way I can truly enjoy it to the fullest and I won’t feel guilt riden by my mom. Disney world is fun and all but i am disapointed I’l be missing out on Zippora a diabetic ballerina whom I totally well idolize except I don’t dance.

I am utterly exshausted so sorry if this is short but I just don’t have enough energy to sya much more!

loves you all,

Hypo

My bad luck week/Fustrated terriablely soooo

Well Thursday last week my mom came down stairs at 6:30 am to find me passed out at the bottom of them. I don’t even remember how I got down them but I was supper ubber low nor do we know how long I was there.I spent the last several days feeling off emotionaly and physicaly.Emotionaly I’m sick of it all physicaly I don’t know where I stand quite anymore. I want a normal life filled with normal teenaged things! I’m sick of how complex things have to be! The docters have been calling the house like crazy trying to decide what the heck I am Fuctional or Reactive hypoglycemia I was classed under “Reactive Hypoglycemia” with slight functional Hypoglycmic characteristics yet now it’s flipped around….

Ive started trying to follow my diet better but I all of a sudden CANNOT stand the taste of fruit anymore for some reason.Ive been so senstive to what i eat lately taste and blood sugar wise….Sigh I need help badly getting unfusterated….

Ive been tagged :)/bad news day

Good news from last/The train wreck ive become…..

Last night called to complain about the jaming of the strips thinking it was just the strips! Medtronic was so good about it woot I was pretty happy with the custumer service! They are sending me 100 free strips and a replacement meter as they think it is the meter not the strips. Well I was sure on a role last night happy and hyper but I forgot to pay attention what others around me where feeling and I ended up making a bad mistake by doing that. Ive learned my lesson now it’s just Ive been down so much lately that it took just that one sucessfuly phone call to turn me into the crazy teen I am.

Frankly I have become a total train wreck and to help me teach you all a moral lesson I am going to use Star Wars qoutes…(disclaimer:I am totaly out of my mind but hear me out please)

Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’. – Yoda

With this condition you either do or do not there is no try. You either are commited to  your RHG,FHG,and D or your not. You just can’t go “I’m sick of this I tryed so leave me alone!” there is NO trying with this! It takes awhile but most people are so afraid to even attempt the diet and control becomes a thing of irrelevents. Todays lesson I geuss is about when Trying turns into Excuses.  “I want” and “I tryed” are words that you HAVE To eliminate form your vocabulary at all costs.

For teens such as me this concept is one that most of us over look and adults you do this as well so we all need to listen to master yoda and Me for a few!

I havn’t been following my diet yet every second word out of my mouth is “I know better” or “I was gonna” or “I should have” I have become the padwan again when I thought  I was a real Jedi knight(In control). I am spiraling out of control and so therefore I am yeilding and eating a piece of humble pie….I could sure use a kick in the butt is what I’m saying….

More latter my head is pounding and I’m slightly sick!

May the force be with you,

Hypopony

Candy doesn’t taste like Freedom-a reflective poem

Well I say someone searched on here once something like “Angry poem” well here is a reflective poem.

Candy doesn’t taste like freedom,

Freedom doesn’t feel like a cone of ice cream,

Freedom doesn’t fizz like a mouthful of

Soda,

Because Freedom shouldn’t taste,

like my head feels now.

 

These past six months I could have

swore have been spent in someone

elses body,

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten it!
I felt for a moment I was invinsable

and I’d returned to my old body

or maybe it was I thought

you’d love me if my blood wasn’t so bitter.

 

I didn’t see what had happened!
“I should have stopped you”

Runs through my head and bites in deep

under my skin.

I’m losing this battle and now I might be losing you!

Not to this condition but to my own actions

Ive hurt the ones I love the most

and maybe Ive lost hope.

 

Just two days ago I felt in control!

My numbers I geuss,

but my heart begs to differ.

Remember I said

“My hearts still a mess!”

You smiled and I thought maybe

we’d okay….

Maybe I would be okay to….

 

RHG is here to stay,

It doesn’t care if I feel like quiting,

Just because the truth hurts,

Thank you for opening my eyes

those who have walked this path longer

than I,

For making me want to be more like you

I’l always remember that “The point is you did get control don’t dwell on the mistakes”

and your way of making me feel I could do better.

I’l let you all know how my life turns out

and thanks for being faithful bystanders

but I know the crowd must all be thinking

“I’m going to get what I deserve.”

 

I’m just a kid,

I don’t have an excuse,

I’m just so scared and confused!

I’m crying inside I want help,

but my pride can’t take another blow!

Ive been doing this so long that I don’t know how to ask for help…..

 

If only I could remember candy doesn’t taste like freedom….

 

Big long Update for everybody who reads this!Carancopia of links

Okay so life kinda ate me up and put me through a violent dryer cycle!

I got a new meter thanks to someone very specail! I now have a OneTouch Ultra Mini in pink and I cannot say enough about it! However the strips leave something very much to be desired. I have to call the company on Monday and hopefuly something will be done. The OneTouch Ultra strips the card board ontop of it curls up and jams and I find it hard to test when I’m shakey from lows.

Another thing/piece of advice if your shakeing to violently to test during a LOW don’t treat yourself FIRST! I learned this the hard way and ended up wasteing a few strips. Insurence won’t cover me anymore so my mom is like “No more testing” and I’m scared! I’m gonna try and get soem strips off ebay and I have some in the mail from another specail friend.

I don’t know what I’d do without my OneTouch Ultra meter I love it to death! I have also become the Queen of exterior meter decoration! I should trya nd post a pic of my case it is the greatest! I have ribbons,keychains,and all kinds of neat stuff happening with it! Ive had to make this life fun because I started to lose it over the past couple of weeks! Ive snapped several times and broke from my diet and Ive been an emotional mess.

 Ive so much to say here yet I’m to lazy and tired after a long week of school to really update so I’m gonna throw a lot of info and links into this post!

First off I was thrilled to hear another Hypoglycemic who posts on www.diabetesdaily.com reads my blog and liked that I mentioned dietary and other interesting tidbits on here so I will be doing that alot now.

🙂

The start of the information pile up of links:

http://endocrine-disorders.health-cares.net/hypoglycemia.php

Found this one very technical and informitive!

http://www.diabetespoetry.com/poetry_room.html

This is a great place for Diabetics and RHG and everyone who needs a little inspiration

http://www.opinions3.com/reactive_hypoglycemia.htm

This is the greatest site ever information wise!

www.onetouch.ca

Best damn meter company in the world!

http://www.healthbolt.net/2007/02/02/why-do-doctors-dismiss-reactive-hypoglycemia/

This is a articale on why so many docs dismiss RHG and blame it on something else!

http://www.programwitch.com/Diet/diet.htm

The above is a link to the diet plan mine is loosely based on!

http://hypoglykemie.nl/faq/hfaq07.htm

One of the ways RHG is DXed I had a bad reaction to it but the information needs to be out there.

http://www.rajeun.net/gtt.html

Articale on basic GTT responses

http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/h/hypoglycemia/treatments.htm

Interesting articale woot!

The best lik of all is www.diabetesdaily.com

Love yall,

Hypo

Sorry I disapered *poof*

Life came and bit me in the arse!

So busy with school but tomorrow when I’m not falling asleep at the comp I’l have to give you al an update!
I’m on the right path now!!!

loves,

hypo_pony

The Past weekend from scarydom!

Well the last weekend I nearly ended up in the hospital 😦 it was another home alone weekend with my gram. Those never ever go well,but yet I can’t complain as it’s a breack from my mom and dad. I am getting along worse and worse with my mom I’m not even trying now. She does these stupid things that tick me off especaily when they make me stressed out.

I failed my Canadain history test 45% not going to go there ehhhh just don’t!

Well back to saterday/sunday gram bought this really expensive yummy soft serve ice cream and inaialy I’m like while I’l have a spoonful and than with her slight egging on I ended up eating to. My BGL was SOOOOOO high I was drinking water like no tomorrow! I was so scared I wasn’t going to go down and than I did I crash and I was scared after I would have to go to the hospital it was a really bad hypo and I was downstairs alone with no way to call for help. I woke up on the floor I did get glucosse tabs into me. Least I think thats what happened I don’t remember it quite right. The point is I have learned my lesson.

I just got so tired of my gram disowning me when I turned into a crank because my BGL’s ,Or telling me that it’s wrong to drink large amounts of water that she takes my cup and bans me from drinking at all,Or from accuseing me of all this stuff I just cracked again! I dunno what I’m going to do I love my gram but telling her copromises so much of my position that I can’t….My family except for my mom does not need to know about my RH.

 Sunday gets worse….

My mom comes home and has to go to work and my ashers calls “You wanna come over tomorrow”

I ask my mom and no and she goes on about this test I failed and I’m like “Am I being punished for failing”

and she goes “No” and she wouldn’t give me a reason and finally she siad no but my dad told me to go so I told Ashers yes.

My mom leaves for work and about 4 hrs latter she comes home.

We have this big arguement on how I’m putting friends before my school work and all this other crap.

I quit I don’t talk to her inless I have to! She cannot accuse me of being and doing things I don’t.

I told her I just wanted her to be my friend and now she’s being phoney nice to me.

One to happier tales!

Monday was Job fair what fun!

It was in the town overs school she we had to take a bus from our school to theirs.
I got on the bus with my 6 friends and the bestest teacher ever! He’s the teacher I keep mentioning in here a lot!

Well I have to go get supper so you’ll have to wait to hear all about it when I come back!!!!!!!!

What an Awesumely sweet morning to bad the weekend wasn’t so fun!

This will be the title of the blog post I’l do when I get home as I’m in school this morning.

I’m going to a friends for the rest of today and tomorow!

woot!,

hypopony